I often hear people talking about the Three Principles in the same way as approaches to dealing with the mind such as NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), but I feel that I should point out to these good folk that the Three Principles are a description of a process and not a technique. Although these other tools can be useful in dealing with mental well-being, they are essentially pointing in the opposite direction to the Principles, because they are treating thought itself as something to be ‘dealt with’, and therefore, real.
Which is why the Principles are not prescriptive in any way, they are descriptive. It’s the implications of what they are always doing (whether we are aware of them or not) which is helpful to understand and can assist you, and indeed every living, conscious and aware creature in the known universe in living a more productive, less stressful life. So I thought I would share with you 12 examples in my own life where having an understanding of how the system actually works has helped me.
For anyone new to the Principles, they are (put simply), that there are universal forces which we are constantly utilising which means that we are alive, we think and we are aware of our experience. The implications of this process are that we are creating our experience ourselves, from the inside out and what we are left with (insight) when we take our own thinking out of the way.
1. I can see now that Thought is not real:
So as I alluded to in the introduction, the problem with traditional approaches to dealing with thought, is that it is something that is real and therefore needs taming. Like an escaped tiger at the zoo which needs to be captured and tranquilized or put down. But here’s the thing. Thought is just thought. It’s an electrical impulse in our brain that gives us an experience, but in and of itself, it’s just a thought. And when I see for myself that it’s just a thought in my own life, I’m OK, because I realise that the ‘feeling’ I am getting is a result of the thought and not real and I don’t have to deal with that either. Like waking up from a scary dream where it looks like the monster is actually going to eat me, I really don’t have to believe in hungry monsters when I wake up, because they are really an illusion and I’m only feeling the illusion. As soon as I see where this feeling is actually coming from, I don’t feel it as much as I did when I thought it was real (kind of like seeing how a magic trick is done) and it dissipates faster. No ‘technique’ required. This in turn gives me the option to see something else that might be useful instead of what I thought was true.
There’s a real benefit in seeing how something actually works. Take gravity for example. Now that science has good knowledge about the workings of this principle of nature (a principle is a part of a system on which all other parts of the system rely), we are able to better understand many other parts of the system too – such as how planets are born and operate and how to fly thousands of tons of metal in the air. On a more human level, this is a great leveler, as we get to see how every other human being operates and are innocently getting lost in their own thinking when they do stupid things (such as reacting to an argument with their spouse and sleeping with the neighbour to get revenge). Which means that instead of taking things personally – “You did that to hurt me…”, we can see why people do things – they get lost in a sea of thought and act upon it, believing it to be real. This in turn gives us humility and the possibility of connection, rather than reacting to situations and events. In fact, this one point alone has the potential to bring peace on earth if everyone could see this truth.
3. I get a lot less stressed about things:
We were recently sitting in the pub with some old work colleagues of Victoria’s. Annie-Rose was sitting on my knee reading her books, but we had been there for over an hour and she was restless to say the least. We were going through the third round of playing with the same toys and reading the same books and her concentration was waning. I’d just given her some of my lime and soda in a pint glass, telling her to be careful with it, when she flung herself around in her restlessness and knocked the glass all over the table. Most of the drink (plus plenty of ice) ended up on my lap, as the rest of the table gasped in shock. Which was when I noticed something very peculiar. I wasn’t in the tiniest bit bothered about it. The spilled drink didn’t bother me. Annie-Rose’s actions didn’t bother me. Even the feeling of the wetness and ice on my inside leg didn’t bother me. My heart rate stayed ultra-calm as if nothing had happened at all. Even the gasps from the rest of the table seemed odd to me, as if they were feeling the situation (and the ice) for me – Ah, the power of the system to be able to do this! How interesting. It was only later when I was recounting this to a friend that I realised how my understanding of the Principles must have contributed to this calmness. Why get annoyed about something that is self-created (thought)? How liberating!
4. I know where the real answers are:
Do you get stuck sometimes, caught up on a merry-go-round of thinking, expecting the answers to emerge from the worry? I often hear from clients that this merry-go-round can be heard, languidly squeaking around and around in their household and many others across the nation at about 4am on most mornings. It leads to lack of sleep and more restlessness, more worry and anxious thinking. And in many cases, it leads to poor decisions and more 4am playground visits. But here’s the thing. The answers don’t reside anywhere near the swings or roundabouts. You can find them, hiding in plain site, in the still depths of your mind. Waiting for silence to take a grip, so they can emerge from the darkness into the light. What’s preventing them from appearing? Your thinking that they don’t exist. There’s been a number of studies conducted recently into where problem-solving decisions come to mind. One was done with a number of senior decision makers in business, and the answers were strikingly similar: “In the shower…”, “on the golf course…”, “whilst walking the dog…”. In fact, just about everywhere else ‘apart’ from looking directly at the problem itself. Which is good to know. Because when I want to find the solution, I know where not to look. Plus, Wellington gets a walk…!
5. Everything takes much less effort:
As you can see from the above example, there is less to do, not more when it comes to finding the solutions. It’s the same with pretty much every area of my life. Someone asked me only recently how my life is different as a result of having an understanding of the Principles, to which I responded: “My life’s exactly the same, only a lot less stressful”. I have to do the same things, often in the same order, with the same people, it’s just that it all takes a lot less effort and I tend to make better decisions as a result. There is, interestingly, also a physiological response as a result of me going on a thought diet. I tend to look after myself physically more as a result due to increased clarity of thought. It just makes sense to do so. I go to sleep earlier than I ever did before. I eat much better than I used to. I don’t drink alcohol anymore. It just doesn’t make sense to do things to myself that disconnect me from reality. The real reality, not the one I thought was real. I feel more in tune with the Universe, so why would I want to push myself further away from that connection? And I also feel more taken care of than ever before.
6. I can choose which illusions to believe in:
I’ve had people come up to me on Principles trainings and say they understand that bad feelings can’t be coming from circumstances, however they really, really want their good feelings to be coming from their kids. “Great…”, I tell them “…let them then!” When you understand ‘where’ your feelings are actually coming from, there’s a choice you can make. In fact in my mind, our choices really are the only thing we can influence in life. You can choose to believe in thoughts, or not. Sometimes, I can choose to believe the winning feelings I’m getting are coming from Arsenal’s latest result. I can put my energies into that one if I so wish. But when they lose, conversely, I don’t have to believe my losing feelings are coming from the team either. Which in turn means that it doesn’t bother me as much as it did (which is quite handy considering our recent success, or lack of…!). But ‘I’m’ the one who gets to choose this, so I’m not at the mercy of life’s plan or circumstances over which I have no control. And why would I want to control them anyway? Yes, I can choose to believe in magic… or not.
7. I worry less:
We’re back to the merry-go-round again, and as I have already pointed out, there’s a whole heap less worrying being done in the Smyth household. By me, anyway! Why would I? It doesn’t make sense to think about things that are an illusion anyway. How many times have you thought about the worse case scenario only for events to unfold in a naturally organic and ‘easy’ manner, despite all your thinking to the contrary? Humans are the only living creature (in the entire Universe to our knowledge) who can think of a future that hasn’t happened yet. Which is a blessing and a curse in many respects. If we need to get some urgent groceries, we can plan a route to the shop at the most convenient time and make sure we take all the necessary items with us to make the trip successful (clothes, keys, cash, phone etc). The downside of this is that we can imagine a whole bunch of rubbish that simply isn’t true or indeed likely to happen (like thinking I might get kidnapped and a ransom put on my head which my family has to sell the house to pay, making them homeless – or something equally as bizarre). And how useful are these insane imaginings in getting us to the shops? Not very. But it’s not our fault, we’ve been designed to seek out the negatives in every situation. In evolutionary terms, if we weren’t hunting, we were being hunted. And thinking nothing but positive thoughts about a trip to the watering hole could have turned us into a crocodile snack in no time. But those days are gone. For me, forever…
8: I know I’m only one thought away from peace:
I mentioned earlier that I felt taken care of. Well, I guess part of that is knowing that I am only ever one thought away from seeing a completely new reality on absolutely anything and everything. I realise that the system which gives us our reality (energy, thought, consciousness) is also perfectly designed to clear itself out when left alone. Our getting involved in this would be like taking a perfectly functioning clockwork system and jamming a big spanner into it to ‘fix it’. Our messing with the system prevents it from doing what it was designed to do. Which is why ‘interventions’ tend not to go so well. We’re playing God in that respect. We’re basically saying to nature – “You don’t know what you’re doing… but I do… hand me the controls so I can have a go!” Madness. When left alone, however, we can get into the natural flow, and that’s when new thinking emerges and flushes away the old stale thought. One thought away from peace, every time. We are peace. And the only thing disconnecting us from that which we already are – is our thinking that we’re separate.
9. My choices seem to naturally follow the flow of life:
I once recorded a video where I showed how most of us go through life, butting against the natural flow of the system. Like leaning into the wind or rowing hard upstream, it takes a lot of effort and we feel the weight of the world against us. There’s useful information in this feeling. Because that’s pretty much what we’re doing. Since I came across the Principles and learned how we create our version of reality from the inside out, I’ve felt as if I’ve turned in the opposite direction and I’m being ‘wind-assisted’, or flowing ‘downstream’. I don’t have to be in charge because I never was and never will be anyway, so why even try. Now it might appear to some as if this is ‘giving in’ to life, but in reality, the opposite happens. I feel more in flow with life and what it has in store. And because I have less ‘skin in the game’ I don’t have to try so hard. Which leaves me with energy to enjoy whatever life throws at me. I’m actually laughing my head off most of the time about how easy it all is when you get in the direction of the flow. Which is why I enjoy sharing what I do with others…
10. I’M OK with not being OK
I met with a wonderful Three Principles friend (Stephen Desborough) in London today and we had a beautiful conversation around the Principles in which he reminded me of something which has been crucial in helping me lead a less stressed and more productive life. I’m really OK with not being OK. Some days I wake up and just feel a bit rubbish. But I’m OK with this. It’s why I have to put people straight who think that I’m talking about ‘positive thinking’. Now I’ve got nothing against being happy, but I’m fairly sure that if I was happy all of the time, I’d miss feeling rubbish once in a while. Kind of like people who live in the desert really loving the idea of rain. I once worked with a client who had her breakthrough when she realised that it was OK to grieve, despite knowing what she knew about how the system works. It’s OK to feel rubbish. What a relief that is…
11. I realise there’s only one direction to look in:
I remember when I first came across the Principles and someone told me a Syd Banks quote which made no sense to me at the time: “A step to the outside is a step in the wrong direction”. It makes so much sense to me today and is actually really helpful when pointing clients back to where all the answers they need reside. It doesn’t matter which symptoms my client is showing (PTSD, depression, suicidal thoughts, addiction, fear, anger etc), I know there is only one place to look. The cause and the solution is always in understanding thought. This makes my life so much easier as someone who helps people wake up to their own potential. I only need to hold a mirror up to their soul and get them to see the truth. And in so doing they find the answers they need. How cool is that?
12. I get to change people’s lives by showing them how the system works:
Yup, and I even get paid to do it… hilarious! I mean, really… I’m doing something that I will do until my last gasp of air on this mortal coil and people actually give me money to do it. If that’s not some sort of cosmic joke, I don’t know what it. What’s more, the better I get at it, the more I get paid, but also the less it matters. It’s like life is back to front now. Money matters so little compared to seeing the changes I make to people’s life by showing them what’s available when you know these simple facts. I love writing about it. I love pointing people in the direction of truth. I love speaking on stage, in groups, one to one, online… anywhere and anytime there’s someone there who might be interested. And yes, pretty much everyday, I get to hear about someone else who read a book, heard an interview, or attended a workshop who’s seen something and their life has changed as a result. Now that’s what I call ‘a living’!
If you would like to learn how to share the Three Principles with others, send me a message. Don’t be fooled by the course title, this applies to every area of life, from parenting to relationships, even improving your golf handicap… If you would like to share what you know and want to deepen your understanding, then please feel free to apply.